Red and Monochrome
by FluoxetineHcl
Summary: You know when someone's truly dead? It's not when their souls departs this world―it's when their memory does. And when they're never forgotten, then they're never really gone. / Cor x OC


**RED AND MONOCHROME**

* * *

_You know when someone's truly dead?_

_It's not when their souls depart this world―it's when their memory does._

_And when they're never forgotten, then they're never really gone. _

* * *

It was an endless night, when the moon didn't have the will to spread its silver sheen to the dying grass. It was the eternal yearning of the sun, when the blue sky with billowing clouds seemed to be a myth. The withering flowers lost its color, the birds refused to sing, and the swaying tree had forgotten the decaying leaves. What was brought by the wind was the vain, together with ashes and sadness. The world had lost its warmth, even the carefree children already forgot how to smile.

Cor Leonis wished for this nightmare to vanish, as the King walked tall and wielded his swords to bring the light. He was longing for the bright sun. He missed the blue hue of the sky. He wanted to see the shimmering stars. He loved to see the soft cascading ray of the moon. It was not only him. But all of the living souls who were struggling to breathe even in this kind of world. All of them prayed to see the light, and wished for the dawn.

Few strands of his brown hair was peeking between the greyish strands that almost painted over all of his hair. He already lived for more than half decades; surviving until the dawn drew nearer, witnessing how his comrades left him one by one, and leaving him behind since he was _the Immortal_, just like what people named him.

He hoped for the sun because he was fed up with the shadow. He didn't want to experience the loss anymore, for it was too great even sometimes he fell to the cliff of devastation.

"Eira…" he whispered. His soft voice was only for her lover and it was filled with an abundance of affection.

The blue eyed man turned his head to look at the woman in a white dress who gazed at him with smile on her sweet visage. Her eyes showered him with love, as she caressed the head of the man who leaned on her lap. He loved the way her soft palm brushed his head. It was warm, and he wished those warmth would never fade and would be there whenever he needed it.

"Was it a right choice?"

He hesitated when he asked. He just wanted someone to acknowledge his act. He needed comfort. Because he was doing it without considering the consequences.

"You were careless, but you're the one who protected him."

Cor chuckled weakly. But even the slightest movement of his body brought the pain in him. Even so, he brought his body closer to her body. He wanted to feel her warmth, from the one who brought the love in his life. He wanted to feel her heartbeat. He wanted to embrace the woman he loved. He wanted to make sure that she was real, she was there, and not a mere illusion in his head.

"Is it okay if I retired?"

"Didn't you say to the King that you won't be retiring anytime soon?"

"I want to be with you, Eira."

* * *

He tried hard not to breathe harshly because he didn't want his breathing to touch the lady on his front, who was wiping his body with the towel that was soaked in warm water. He wished that she wouldn't hear his loud heartbeat as he placed his eyes on the tiny face of her which showed the focused expression as she immersed in her activity. She was cleaning his body since the man would get his wounds touched by the water if he was the one who did it.

Sometimes Eira glanced at him when she moved her hand—which almost made his heart stop beating. And it was the guilt that enveloped his entire soul when he couldn't control the feelings in him. Of course, the raven haired young woman was only seventeen and he was forty one at that time.

He gulped his saliva when the warm and damp towel was moving on his skin. He could feel the heat on the wet trace where the towel traveled on, as if it was her skin that touched his. She didn't touch him directly. But, the soft and tender movement she created with towel in her hand couldn't prevent him from thinking about her.

The answer to how to remain calm was actually quite easy. Cor only needed to avert his gaze from the young maiden and stop thinking about her. Perhaps, it would be appropriate for him to think about his next mission instead of watching the medic in front of him. But, no matter he tried to avert his sight, he would find himself staring at her again. In between her movements, she would sometimes raise her face to show her alluring eyes on him. She would blink and gasp slightly when their eyes met. But then she gave her smile with the captivating lips of her. And in the next second she would look down to his chest and keep on cleaning his body.

He could remember how she was only a five years old girl he saw in a royal party, when she was a shy and timid girl, who was always hiding behind her mother's long dress. Her mother said that he was too scary so her daughter hid and didn't want to see the twenty nine years old Leonis. At that time, Cor tried to smile, but his smile was too awkward and she didn't want to see him even more.

But, now she was, growing up into a beautiful lady. If only Cor was born later, he wouldn't feel guilty to place his eyes on her. She was too captivating and Cor was trapped in his complicated emotion. He knew that she was already in legal age, but still, the age gap could turn him into a criminal. He was only five years younger than his father. _For Astral's sake._

* * *

"Cor, I love you."

The man whose name was mentioned as the first word in that sentence almost choked himself to death with his beer. He abruptly placed his glass back on the table and wiped off a few lines of liquid that slipped from the corner of his lips with the back of his hand.

His heart almost forgot how to thud and now it forgot how to beat in a steady rhythm. Tonight was not the first time they had dinner together. It was usually a casual dinner after she finished her shift early and after he finished training the young crownsguard in the evening.

She was a special medic who was being assigned for him. And when she invited him to have dinner together, he thought it was only to maintain their relationship as working partners. Finding out that it was somehow fun to talk with her—even though it was only about her daily working day—it never bore him. They often had a small chatter about something he missed because of his mission outside Insomnia; from the newly opened crepes store, a ginger cat that infiltrated the crownsguard training ground and became the idol―which was unfortunately had been found by its owner so Cor didn't have a chance to see it―, or about the new popular song in the city which was played in every corner of Insomnia.

He never expected that the young lady would confess in a sudden, and Cor didn't have the capability to respond. His eyes wandered around, didn't dare to take a look at the eyes with the same color of the night that was staring at him. He unwittingly raised his palm to cover the lower half of his face. The usual stoic expression of him was melting in uneasiness. He felt the heat creeping on his cheeks, but with a deep and long sigh, he tried to regain his composure. He put his hand down to the table, straightened his back, and placed his eyes on a pair of black eyes of her.

"Eira, there's nothing good about loving a man like me."

He tried hard to give his lecture to the young woman, hoping that he would hear that she was only joking. However he could feel the gravity from her gaze.

"Because I'm way younger than you? Twenty four years gap?"

She gave him a sharp gaze and the marshal was being pierced by her eyes. It was the first time in his life, seeing a woman look at him like that. He clenched his fists, struggling to face the woman on his front. By this time he knew that actually he was also engulfed in the same emotion as her. The one that never failed to sped up his heartbeat whenever he was with her, which made his chest flutter in a peculiar throb, which spread the warmth to his entire body.

"Not only that…"

There were two reasons for him that forced him not to receive the love she gave. She stated the first one—guessed it to be exact—and it was true.

"Do not have confidence to survive in every battle?"

His eyes were widened when the question escaped from her lips. He wanted to laugh, wondering why a woman who was twenty four years younger than him could understand him this well. Was he really obvious?

He avoided love, because he was afraid that he would be unable to come home. He couldn't promise to come home alive, and he didn't want someone he loved to mourn his death.

* * *

He knew that she loved to stare at him whenever he closed his eyes. He could feel her gaze. He knew she was raising her head to take a clear look at him. Sometimes, he let her do as she wished and continued his sleep. But sometimes he couldn't hold himself not to open his eyes to see her alluring eyes.

The woman who leaned her head on his arm as her pillow then blinked and giggled for the next second. "Not sleeping?"

Cor turned his body to face her then pulled her tiny figure inside his arms. His other hand pushed her head to brush his chest and just like that, he would close his eyes while the woman snuggled on him.

"Do not leave me alone…" and she was the one who asked him, to make a promise, so that he would never give up his life easily. Even though she already knew the consequences to be his lover. Even though Cor knew that maybe he wouldn't keep his promise.

He would never forget how she stated those words. He didn't want to leave her alone, because the only thing that was left in her world was him. And for him, she was the only light in the world of darkness.

He was grateful to have her by his side, even though he was the one who refused her presence at first. But even _the Immortal_ couldn't lie to his own feelings. He decided to accept the hand that reached him, holding it as they walked on the dead grass. He let the overwhelming emotion take the control, as he brushed his lips to the soft lips of her. He couldn't turn her down, since he wanted to be with her.

And she was the reason for him not to die.

* * *

Eira was giggling as her tiny hand pulled his firm hand, dragging the man to follow her to enter the ruin of the chapel. She had found a wedding veil from the broken display window of the department store not far from there, and in a sudden, she had an idea to play with it—the dress was torn down so she decided only to take the veil.

It was her birthday today, and she was a bit selfish because she wanted Cor to forget about the war outside the window. She told him that she wanted to have him by her side, to spend a day with her without fighting the endless daemon outside. Eira already cast a few spells around the chapel, so none of those daemon would dare to approach them in thirty minutes.

"Eira…" He didn't understand why suddenly she wanted to go to the chapel with him, which was actually the lie he created in his mind because in fact, he knew best why. He was afraid that his guess was wrong though, so that he pretended not to know.

She pulled him until they arrived in front of the altar, and that was the time when she released his hand. They stood and faced each other. Of course, Cor remained expressionless when the woman grinned at him. She then started to wear the wedding veil on her head, combed her long dark hair with her fingers, fixed the position of the veil, and then placed her black eyes at him.

She was beautiful with the white gauzing veil. If only the world would never be engulfed in eternal darkness, they would stand there in front of the priest, witnessed by hundred people as they exchanged the vow.

"Aherm!" she pretended to clear her throat while holding both of his hands. She then lowered her voice, trying to imitate a man's voice to state her sentences.

"Cor Leonis, do you take Eira Heallint as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse…" then she frowned, tilting her head because she tried to remember the rest of the sentence, "What was it again?"

Cor couldn't help but to laugh and shrugged in response, "I don't know…"

"Come on, don't you remember at least when King Regis married the Queen?" she scowled, not impressed by his answer, "Okay… Well… Let's skip the other parts because I can't remember it!"

He chuckled. And, _Oh_, how he tried hard not to pinch her cheeks and hug her. But he needed to play along and let her finish her sentence.

"Cor Leonis, do you take Eira Heallint as your lawful wife, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

"I do." he replied to her without any hesitation. He lifted up the corner of his lips, to give her his smile. He stretched his hand and placed it on her left cheek, caressing the fair skin that was smeared with the dark stain that was getting bigger as it spread from her neck, to her shoulder, and to her limbs.

He bit the inner parts of his mouth when the line of tears fell to his thumb. He struggled not to cry as he looked at his beloved one. She then buried her face on his chest, circling her trembling arms around his waist, as she started to sob and let out her muffled cry.

"Don't leave me here alone…"

He would never forget how she said those words from her lips. He promised to do so, he swore to do so.

"I'll never let you go…" Cor wrapped her body with both of his arms, adding his strength to pull her closer and closer. He didn't want to think that she would leave him one day, he just wanted to appreciate every second he spent with her. He wished the time would have to stop, so he would be with her in the eternity.

* * *

He gripped the handle of his _kotetsu_, the blade he wielded was never this heavy before. The ache gnawed his chest, and he knew his hesitation would only make her suffer for long. He needed to erase her pain, and he promised to. He should do it, he ought to.

"Cor…" She was standing there, in front of him, clasped her hands in front of her waist. There were no tears on her face, as she smiled tenderly at him. But that smile now tortured him.

He wanted to call her name, but he was afraid that by doing so his determination would be crumbled and shattered. He was already afraid, but no matter what he should kill off his emotion.

He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and in a split second unsheathed his blade to stab her right on her left chest. He swiftly pulled his sword from her body soon after and threw it to the ground.

He could only stand still for a few seconds as he witnessed the woman she loved fell to the hard concrete. He bit his tongue, stabbing it until the blood gave its taste to be perceived. The strength on both of his knees disappeared, as he kneeled in front of her. He dragged his feet forward, stretched out his arms to reach his lover and pulled her frail body into his embrace.

The color of the world had been snatched away from his world, only leaving the red and monochrome. He just killed a woman he loved, because she wished to die as a human, because she wanted to die without forgetting about the man she loved.

One of her eyes had already turned into the red orb, with a thick black liquid that streamed down from it. He could see how her blackened veins were visible on her fair skin. She was suffering, and he wanted to stop anything from hurting her anymore.

The drop of tears already escaped from his eyes as the woman raised her hand to caress his cheek. No one ever saw him crying, but here he was, wailing and mourning.

"Eira… I love you…"

It was usually happiness when he saw her smile. But this time, it was an agony that was stabbing his chest. He arched his trembling back forward because the pain in his heart was torturing him. He cried, even though he wanted the last expression she saw from him was his smile. He cried. He screamed in pain. He wailed from his lungs. But she was asleep in his hands, even his scream would never wake her up. She would never hear his voice anymore. He would never hear her voice anymore.

* * *

"I want to be with you, Eira."

He raised his hand to touch the cheek of the young lady who smiled at him, the one who caressed his head in tenderness. He loved it when he leaned his head on her lap. It was the serenity that enveloped him, it gave him the comfort he yearned.

There were no stains on her skin, no shadow that smeared her body, no black liquid that streamed down from her eyes. Her enchanting black eyes were the same as years ago, it emitted the radiance of the affection, the emotion that would only be presented to him. The red demonic orb was not there to snatch her beautiful black eyes. It was the woman he knew, the woman he loved, with no suffering that hurt her.

"I'm here…" Her mellifluous voice was the voice he wanted to hear. It had been a long time since the last time he heard it. He hoped that this time he would be able to hear it for many times, for eternity.

Cor smiled and closed his eyes. Never in his life that he felt this sleepy. He drowned in the deep slumber, sinking into the serenity.

He wanted to be with her.

He really wanted to be with her.

Even though it meant that he would never have the chance to see the dawn…


End file.
